I Just Really Don’t Want To

Right!?  Please tell me I’m not alone in this.  Sometimes I just really don’t want to.  Don’t want to do the dishes, don’t want to fold the laundry, don’t want to respond to that text, don’t want to adult in general.  My face expresses what my heart feels: “Enter at your own risk”, “Do Not Disturb” or “Beware, guard dog on duty”.

Sometimes those “sometimes” last longer than I care to admit.  Those moments become days, days become weeks and before I know it, weeks have become habits and patterns that define a larger period of time.  “I don’t want to” becomes more of a lifestyle than an attitude.  It becomes more of a passive condition of my heart than an active choice.

God has been tugging at my heart about my lack of writing lately.  At first, it started as “I’m too busy.”  Then it became “I don’t know what to write” which quickly turned into “nothing that I write matters.”  Did you notice how many “I” statements that was?  All of them, which is all of them too many.  And yet in life, none of it is about us.

Every bit of life is about our relationships with others.  I write because I am called by God to write, not because I enjoy it or have an extra abundance of time for it.  Writing isn’t about what matters to me, it’s about uplifting and encouraging others in their walk with Christ.  As long as we are stuck on ourselves, or within ourselves, we will be unable to experience true growth and freedom in Christ.

I can tell you that not writing the last few months has been nice.  I haven’t had to stretch myself into territory that is uncomfortable.  I haven’t had to be vulnerable or scared of rejection.  I haven’t had to check numbers or care if anyone reads the posts.  I haven’t had to research Bible verses or study extra hard.  But I also haven’t experienced true joy in Christ.  Joy that only comes when we are fulfilling our purpose and our calling by God in our lives.  The joy that comes from resting in Him knowing you have served your God well.  The joy and purpose that comes from hearing “…Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:23)

Tonight I rest in the fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11) in the presence of my savior.  I invite you to rest in His fullness of joy with me.  Whatever you are wrestling with, whatever you are putting off, now is the time to surrender.  Stop wherever you are and give it over to God.  Let him remove your sign of “Beware, enter at your own risk” and instead replace it with “Welcome, Joy Abounds”.

Psalm 16:11 – You will make known to me the path of life; In your presence is fullness of joy; In your right hand there are pleasures forever.

1 Peter 1:8-9 – and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.

John 17:13 – But now I come to you; and these things I speak in the world so that they may have my joy made full in themselves.

Romans 15:13 – Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will about in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.